2002-10-06 - 8:34 p.m.

There were at least a dozen, side-splitting, witty things that I wanted to say, but they have all been superceded by an article in today's Plain Dealer with the headline "NEVER MIND CROCS, SHARKS: LOOK OUT FOR THE CHICKENS", straight from Tarpon Springs, Florida.

Apparently, a rooster named Rockadoodle Two attacked a two year old girl (Dechardonae Gaines) carrying an Easy-Bake Oven while toddling to her Uncle Tony's in a cluster of houses where "man and chicken have coexisted peacefully for years in quiet defiance of city ordinance".

Well, long story short, Rockadoodle Two knocked the twentyseven pound girl to the ground and began "pummeling her with beak, claws and blue-back wings".

The funny part comes in when her Uncle Tony (complete with bad hip) shoos the bird away once, only to go three steps before it came back: not just a second time, but a third as well. The second one knocked her down again; the third time, the bird just "latched onto her narrow shoulders and hammered at her head from behind".

Uncle Tony then kicked the bird, so it flew to a porch, puffed its chest and ruffled its feathers.

"That chicken was not scared," Uncle Tony said.

Rockadoodle Two then led six people on a chase, only being brought down when someone physically tackled him.

Just to be safe, both Rockadoodle Two and his sister, Hen, were taken to the Humane Society of North Pinellas. From there, they were sent for rehabilitation in Odessa, Fla., probably permanently.

The little girl was just fine, only adding to why this seems so funny to me. I can't explain it to anybody, so if you really need me to, I simply advise you to discontinue reading here, because that's just funny shit.

BBBrett

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