2004-08-14 - 1:25 p.m.

It's been a while since I've laid down a proper entry so here's a little one to tide me over. Julia Child died yesterday, but I don't have too much on that one since she's been knockin' on death's door ever since that hump in her neck started closing off the ol' windpipe. Marlon Brando died a while back, but I didn't get to it in time. And that was a big one.

Get it?

So, I may have missed a few things (like the 480 pound woman that died while being surgically removed from her sofa), but I just couldn't pass this one up. My brain froze up trying to figure out what group of people needed this warning. Take a peek.

WASHINGTON

Company recalls nut-flavored coffee

Oklahoma City-based Neighbors Coffee on Friday recalled nearly 20,000 pounds of nut-flavored whole-bean coffee because it contains undeclared almonds, hazelnuts, peanuts and pecans. People with allergies can suffer serious and life-threatening reactions to the nuts. The recall covers eight-ounce, one-pound and five-pound bags of whole-bean, nut-flavored coffees produced from Feb. 12 through Aug. 12. Only five-pound bags bear lot numbers, located on the front and bottom center of the coffee packages. The recalled lot numbers are 0434 through 2254, the company said.

- Associated Press

Did you get all that? I kinda figured that by labeling the coffee as "nut-flavored" the company could sidestep declarations of FUCKING NUTS. How dumb does a person have to be to say "Gee... I'd like a cup of java. But you know what would make it nice? If it tasted like something that's going to kill me. (Cue Aerosmith's Livin' on the Edge) And then, seeing no nuts listed on the nutritional chart, the willful consumer goes home with the bag of magic beans completely confident that the miracles of modern science have engineered this drink just for them.

Good christ... If I didn't need a shower before, I do now. Reading shit like that just makes me feel dirty.

bbbrett

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